"How do you say goodbye to someone you can't imagine living without?"
"I didn't say anything... I juz walked away..."
Yes I did...two days after she gave her 'reason' where I found contradictions and inconsistencies after many, many thorough thoughts. I walked away not bcoz I'm letting her go nor do I no longer luv her but bcoz it's too much for me to bear it all and also to spare her the agony of finding reasons to end this whole thing. Mainly too for the fact that I do not wish for her to lie unintentionally which I figured she would if she has to as I dun wish to portray her as a liar. The hurt, pain, anguish and despair follows - a constant reminder that never seems to subside as the days pass.... I told her, "I'll nv let you go" as I really appreciate, treasure and cherish her. The times we spent together chatting on FB, WwF & Watsapp cracking jokes and 'flyin' here & there etc... As I look back, those memories embedded in my mind are still very fresh and I truly miss those times.
What is very unique about us is that, we never really chatted on the phone, we spent most of our time conversing in Watsapp. We spoke about almost anything that is possible under the sun. We only met six times - an impromptu and five planned meet-ups. And all these moments are still very vivid in my mind. Not forgetting especially, the way I gotten her number. It was truly an out-of-the-ordinary experience and I truly love the way it happened.
- A number for a letter, mathematics, puzzles, double Os for double 1s (coincidentally that makes 1001), spellings and not forgetting how i had to store 20 sets of number combinations(coz i do not have the first and last digit) so as to find out the exact number which in the end, I finally managed to, thanks to Watsapp.
Things literally blossomed thru those moments. It's the small little things in those conversations that made this a unique & beautiful romance. Tho it's short-lived, the significance and passion of this romance is something that I will wanna experience all over again and I'll give anything for it. As much as I would like to tell her how I've been feeling every single day, I guess it's much better for me to keep it to myself and 'pen' my thoughts in here and I figured it would be better for her too. Reason being, will letting her know how and what I'm feeling change anything? And as I've mentioned in my previous post and what I've said to her, "I only want you to be happy". I guess it's best this way rather than for her to feel what i'm feeling or going thru and be unhappy(if she really do) which will indirectly mean I fail to keep my promise to her which is something that i will never wanna do.
If only she knew what has been in my mind eversince....
Not a day has gone by without me thinking of you...how you've been...if you have been eating regularly knowing that you have the tendency to skip meals and stuffs. I miss the times we had and how I wish I would have a 'Replay' button for those memories we shared. I miss your 'hmmm2', 'fly can?', 'hmmm2...here, hmmm2...there', the coincidences, 'lalaland', your sheepish smile, your 'lah, le, ler, leh, hor', your 'uhuh', your hugs & kisses, your 'I.M.Y', your '=.=', your emoji smileys/icons in Watsapp, and the way you literally type single letter for each word or sentence you wanna say on individual lines which I'll have to scroll up & down to read and so many others to be mentioned. Remembering how we send one another greeting images which never fails to brighten up our day, chatting on Watsapp from the time we start work till 1 or 2 a.m in the morning and the cycle begins again each day when we are awake.
Having fun on Wwf where we took turns to 'beat' one another and me giving chances whenever you come up wid the sad faces from Emoji. I truly miss those Emoji smileys/icons in our chats where you never fail to use after almost each sentence. From the blushing smileys to the tongue-in-cheek smileys, from the crying smileys to the hand signs and not forgetting the "Pause" button and the infamous "Fast-Forward" icon. Memories that I hold dear within my heart.........
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